The Moon, Venus & Jupiter!

Tonight I was able to view a beautiful crescent moon accompanied by a very bright Venus and Jupiter.




An excerpt from Earth & Sky:

"Celestial trio in December 1 twilight
Tonight is Monday, Dec 01 2008

Yesterday, the blazing planets Venus and Jupiter were in conjunction at dusk and early evening. Yet, this evening’s sky show will probably supersede yesterday’s attraction. What is it about these gatherings of objects in the night sky that’s so alluring? Hard to know, but I’ll tell you that Venus and Jupiter will be almost as close together this evening as they were last night. What’s more, this evening, the waxing crescent moon will join the show in earnest, appearing very near the two brightest planets.

The view will be spectacular with the eye alone, although (it must be said) these objects are fairly low in the twilight sky as seen from the northern hemisphere. Oh, to be in the southern hemisphere now, where the trio stands high in the sky after sunset! No matter. People around the world will look up to see and be amazed by these worlds.

As seen from most of North America, the heavenly threesome will fit within a single binocular field of view. If you live in Europe, however, you might not see Venus for a portion of the evening tonight, because the moon will occult – pass in front of – Venus, blocking this world from view. Information on this occultation is available at the International Occultation Timing Association.

Look closely at the moon through binoculars and you might see the soft glow of earthshine on the dark side of the moon. The waxing crescent moon is about 16% lit up in sunlight and 84% in darkness. But as seen from the moon, the phase of the Earth is exactly the opposite, with the waning gibbous Earth about 84% illuminated in sunshine and 16% in darkness.

By the way, if you were standing on the night side of the moon tonight, you would see an almost full Earth lighting up your lunar landscape!

Written by BRUCE MCCLURE , 1 December 08"

Turkey v. Stinky Cheese

Fellow Citizens:

Happy Thanksgiving!

Early this morning, my home-home page (Slate) popped up with a "Turkey Wars" headline and an article "Don't Wet-Brine Your Turkey. Do Stir-Fry Your Sweet Potatoes."

Here's an excerpt:

"The biggest turkey trend this year is a push-back against wet brining, which the gastronomic press corps has promoted enthusiastically for the past decade or so. (Food Network star Alton Brown, for example, is a big fan.) Brining is the process of soaking the raw bird in a bath of salty—and sometimes spicy and/or sweetened—water in order to keep the breast meat moist and counteract the turkey's fundamental engineering flaw: The breast is done cooking long before the legs are. But this method isn't hassle-free. It's hard to find room in an overcrowded refrigerator for a bucketful of brine and bird. More important, as food-science maven Harold McGee pointed out in the New York Times this month, the extra salt in the turkey can botch the gravy. McGee is joined by other brine-resisters, like Thanksgiving guru Rick Rodgers, who, in Bon Appétit, recommends dry-salting the turkey 18-24 hours before cooking (which probably won't affect the gravy quite so much). Inspired by legendary chef and pre-salter Judy Rogers, the Los Angeles Times kvells over a similar technique. Saveur boasts a recipe from New Orleans chef Leah Chase in which the turkey is mostly cooked inside an aluminum foil packet, essentially steaming it en papillote. Others, like the gang at Cook's Illustrated, advise ditching the idea of a whole roast turkey. They advocate cooking it in parts instead. So does Mark Bittman of the New York Times, but he further thumbs his nose at tradition by rejecting the roasting custom altogether and recommending a braise."

The topic "to brine or not to brine" made me think about my encounter with Rachael Ray's TV production team at the Food Hall in Grand Central a while back, and the stupid question I was assigned to look into the camera and ask "Hi, Rachael. I'm B... from Texas and I was wondering how long do you brine a turkey to make it most flavorful?"

You see I knew it was a bad question and tried to convince the producer to allow me to ask a question about cheese, specifically stinky cheese.

This is how it all started.

I was in NYC to provide deposition testimony in an insurance coverage dispute/lawsuit. After the deposition, I was feeling pretty good (I thrive on answering questions + I knew our side was right and justice would be served) and decided to get off the uptown subway at Grand Central Terminal to check out the Food Hall, specifically Murray's Cheese Shop. I was in search of cheese, specifically stinky cheese as a present/souvenir for Andy. I'm good like that.

In the fairly crowded stalls, I found Murray's and the most knowledgeable cheese people on earth. I explained I was looking for a stinky, hard cheese. Of all the cheeses in the universe, the experts told me it was very rare to find a stinky cheese that was also hard. Most cheeses with a high level of smell are soft or blue. Of course, Andy prefers hard cheese that burns the nose. I, too, preferred a hard cheese for transportation purposes although I hadn't really thought about how much it would smell on the airplane home. I spent some time sampling hard, semi-stinky cheeses. My #1 choice cost an outrageous amount (like $40 a pound), so I settled on #2, a pungent mature mountain cheese with a kick ($9.99).

I was then approached by a well-dressed woman (a scout). She asked: "Do you know Rachael Ray of the Food Network?"
Me: "Of course, Ray-Ray and I go way back. I love her. Yummo!" (Okay I made that up.)
Scout: "Would you like to be on TV? We are filming the 'question of the day' for Rachael's show.
Me: "Can I ask about cheese, specifically stinky cheese?"
Scout: "Let's ask the producer. I think your outfit and dark hair will look good on TV." (white jacket, teal top and I was actually wearing a necklace that day!)

We walked toward a group of people, most standing around holding clipboards trying to look busy. There was a cameraman and a boom operator. I was introduced to the producer, his assistant and her assistant. The assistant's assistant asked me to sign a waiver. I asked the first assistant if I could ask a cheese-related question and explained that considering Rachael Ray is all about simple "30 minute meals" it would be great to get her feedback on a cheese plate as a meal. She smiled and said "Oh, that's a great idea, but let's chose something off the list."

The first assistant handed me a list of questions involving various cooking questions. I studied them and there was nothing remotely cheesy. Not being a real actor I said "I really can't relate to any of these because I don't cook." (I have to admit that once the cheese question was quashed my heart wasn't really in it.) She then pointed to the list and said "How about this one? How long do you brine a turkey to make it the most flavorful?"
Me: "Okay, I can do that one if I can substitute 'chicken' for 'turkey'. I have experience with brining chicken (once)."
We looked at the producer and he nodded with a go ahead. If the assistant producer wanted to kill me, she did so with a smile.

There were four takes and the very best one was botched because the boom operator was too short and the microphone dropped in to camera view. We had to go with #2 (just like my cheese selection).

I hung around for the next question. It came from a handsomish Italian guy working behind the counter at the fish market. He resembled Joey from "Friends" and he was very gregarious with his question and a natural in front of the camera. I said "You should be an actor" and he replied "Oh, I am an actor. I just work here to pay the rent." (Maybe he was Joey from Friends.) And no wonder he was so good, he was an actor that knew something about food. He also had a big fish for a prop. I had no idea what to do with my hands except clutch my cheese.

I'm not sure my question ever aired and I really don't care. It was a fun experience and better than the time I spotted Mario Batali (in goofy shorts and orange clogs) at La Guardia. Of course, like all "celebrities" he's much shorter in person.

CitizenB

A Visit to the DMV & the Neighbor Connection

Fellow Citizens:

Good morning! I hope you’ve had your Wheaties, as this one requires some energy to read. Have a great Thanksgiving, and to make things interesting consider inviting a neighbor or someone from the DMV over for dinner.

While waiting for our table this morning at breakfast, I happened to read my horoscope or Today's Birthday: "Get involved with your community this year; it can use your help. Be more directive than usual." In general, I find horoscopes to be a bunch of hooey, but found this very fitting considering the blog from yesterday. It seems that I was already thinking in this direction...

A Visit to the DMV & the Neighbor Connection

Since the "Gynecology and Yard of the Month" story, I've been thinking about neighbors; and thankfully, not much about the other topic. I'm fairly in denial in that area, and as evidenced yesterday at the DMV, I'm not very in touch with my physical self. My driver's license was set to expire this weekend on my 48th birthday, so I marched in to the DMV to renew it. I was so obsessed with covering up the gray hair for the photo that you have to live with forever (or at least 8 years) that I totally forgot about the vision test and the fact that I my eyes may have grayed as well. I was still in denial when I was instructed to look through the view finder. On line 5, I saw three columns with a series of numbers in the second and third column. The first column was blank - or so I thought.
The clerk, a mix of reggae and gangsta (she was wearing a knitted beret over dreadlocks and a huge gold pinky ring): "Read from all three columns."
Me, confused: "But there are no numbers in the first column."
Reggae Clerk: "Do you wear glasses?"
Me, pondering the question: "Oh, come to think of it, I have glasses, but I never wear them."
Reggae Clerk: "Well maybe you should. Where are they?"
Me, babbling: "At home. Do I have to go and get them? Oh, I really like your giant ring! Please let me try again."

This time Reggae Clerk was gracious enough to close the lens on the left eye and allow my strong and dominate right eye to do all the work. I practically willed fuzzy numbers to appear in the first column. I then read off numbers that could have been 6s or 8s. I pulled it off, somehow.

Me: "Gosh, I didn't know my left eye wasn't pulling its weight. Fortunately I haven't had any accidents. Knock on wood."

And then I realized this was a total LIE when suddenly remembering that I backed into a fire hydrant earlier this year. Of course, that was attributed to hysterical blindness, not real blindness. I wanted to confess to Reggae Clerk, but managed to refrain. Under the circumstances, it wouldn't have been helpful and I really hoped when I drove away she wouldn't notice the imprint of the fire hydrant that still exists in my bumper. Anyway, I promised Reggae Clerk that I would be a good and lawful citizen and wear my eyeglasses while driving... if only I could see to find them.

Beyond that, there was a slight confusion over my eye color.

Reggae Clerk: Are they green, grey, blue, hazel? She actually handed me a mirror decorated with fake jewels.
Me: "Green, most of the time.”

I totally knew that, but after not seeing numbers in the first column and then being forced on the spot to blurt out a current weight (okay, I lied a little there too – what’s wrong with me?), I wasn't feeling too sure about anything.

Moving on to the topic of neighbors and the purpose of this blog. I've been thinking that maybe I should make an effort and connect/re-connect with my neighbors... for the sake of community and all that jazz. You know, to honor the themes "Love Thy Neighbor", "Like a Good Neighbor", "It Takes a Village" etc. I’ll throw out the occasional wave and smile, but not much more.

Actually, our neighbors Mr. and Mrs. N connected with me when they knocked on the door a few days ago, and handed over a note (not an invite) about a reunion at their house directly behind ours and the possibility of loud noise from 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. It included Mr. N's cell number in case of a problem. Always a good move to be proactive.

Me: "No worries. Have a great time. How's Edward?"

It seems that their son keeps Edward, a large bulldog, on a part-time basis. (I want to find out more about how to keep a dog part-time...maybe I can use this in selling Andy on getting one.) The Ns smiled when I mentioned Edward and the fact that no amount of persuasion (or Cesar Millan) can move that dog when he decides to sit in the middle of a walk. I refrained from mentioning their gray tomcat. You see, as part of my loving thy neighbor, I wanted to focus on the nice and not the bad. I'm not even sure that diabolical gray cat belongs to the Ns. He happens to sit on their deck while keeping an intimidating watch on our backyard. It's obvious that he's carefully plotting ways to seize Marshall's territory. I don't know his name, but I call him "Go away, you horrible, mean, yellow-eyed, bully of a cat" and "Don't you dare pin Marshall and chew on his ears, you horrible, mean, yellow-eyed, trespassing bully of a cat." He's a tough cat to love.

I've made efforts to get to know my neighbors over the years. There was my connection with Mr. and Mrs. American Airlines. They lived next door to the right and I remember their home was fully accessorized from the Sky Mall catalogue, including a 4' high resin sommelier statue welcoming you with a bottle of wine. That actually impressed me at the time, but fortunately I never got around to shopping for home decor on airplanes. When they moved away (or flew off to a better destination) Olaf and Gerda moved in. They were European physicians and their decor was the opposite of Sky Mall. They were minimalists and with the exception of the wooden shoe door-knocker, there was little decoration. They had a small boy, Flor, and then Gerda, ever the minimalist, popped out a girl when I didn't even know she was pregnant. At some point, they decided education for their children in the Netherlands would be better than in Dallas, TX where the kids at day care made fun of Flor's name and his clogs. Of course, that was before crocs were invented and celebrities named their kids "Bronx" and the like.

There was also Leonard and Marie, the elderly couple next door to the left. Their large house was too much for them and really falling apart. Leonard fixed that by burning it down. Not intentionally. He fell asleep and/or passed out while cooking chicken. His pug kicked into Lassie mode and woke him by wildly licking his face because he was too deaf to hear the smoke alarm. I always thought that Marie would have been the one to burn it down (or blow it up). At night, I could see her sneaking a cigarette in the garage - even though she had a bad case of emphysema (as did the pug from second hand smoke) and lugged around a portable oxygen tank. Alas, she was at the beauty shop when the fire occurred and off the hook. After the fire, L & M and the pug moved into a more manageable apartment, but that didn't keep Leonard from meeting me in the driveway everyday after work for months with insurance questions. He was convinced the "Like a Good Neighbor" company was ripping him off. After they moved away and the house was being rebuilt, we clipped a piece of their rose bush and planted it next to our oak tree. We call it the "Marie" rose and it’s very thorny. We really liked them even though they frequently told us that we were too young and really didn't know anything about anything.

We've had a couple of bad experiences, including an ongoing one with the neighbor who insists on doing yard work in the dark and/or specifically during our only window of opportunity for relaxation - usually around 6:00 p.m. on Sundays. Just as we are settling in for a nice evening, his monster lawn equipment belts out at least 200 decibels. Why? I think it's a macho thing. He likes to take out his aggression on tiny, innocent blades of grass. Plus his wife is probably sick of him by then and kicks him out of the house. We all know that Sunday afternoons can be trying. Too much togetherness can make you do crazy things. In addition to noise pollution and the other environmental destruction issues presented, night time weed-whacking and leaf-blowing should be considered an ultra-hazardous activity (like logging). While I worry about injury to our neighbor (for some reason) and others, Andy fumes over the relentless, obsessive compulsive trimming of anything green over 1". He actually tried to solve the problem with a man-to-extreme garden tool talk. Mr. Whacker was highly defensive, as expected. Fortunately, there was no wrestling for the leaf blower.

The other bad experience involved a German shepherd owned by a neighbor across the street. One day, as I was walking our elderly beagle (R.I.P.) and being followed by my black cat (he was under the mistaken impression that he was also a dog), "Killer" appeared out of the fence, and from the edge of the yard began to focus on us, clearly in attack mode. The beagle, Scout, with her nose to the ground, was oblivious, but the cat, Boo, looked at me like "Please don't let him eat me." I froze for a minute, but then decided to walk normally with a firm "come, children, come" and managed to get into the garage before Killer took a step off the curb. I called animal control and Killer was put back behind the fence. A few weeks later, a man knocked on the door and advised he was an investigator for a law firm. One of his clients, a neighbor out on a run, had lost a finger to Killer. The client was reportedly a surgeon and really needed that finger, and the lawyer really, really needed his contingency fee, so they were out canvassing the neighborhood in an effort to show notice of Killer's vicious propensities. On that day I officially renamed Killer "Mr. Finger-Eater".

So I was thinking, why are neighbor relationships always a bit difficult or at least uncomfortable? From my job, I know that neighbor disputes and claims are the absolute worst. John's Great Dane impregnates Mary's AKC-registered poodle. Bob's retaining wall falls into Carol's swimming pool. Ted's tree limb scrapes Alice's parked car with its custom paint job. It's the end of the freaking world! Expect protracted litigation and three or four attempts at mediation. Give me a crane falling on a stagehand's head during a ridiculous underwater music video shoot or a window washer falling nine stories any day.

I did some research and found that when it comes to neighbors, most people have complaints, not compliments. Here's a sample of how people often describe their neighbors: "annoying, creepy, weird, crazy, lazy, awful, rude, crabby, psycho nut case, flasher, two-faced, pervert, grumpy, nosey, inconsiderate, phony, dangerous, smelly, they're jerks!, and I hate them!! Surveys say common complaints are barking and howling dogs, accumulation of junk and trash, high weeds (not in my neighborhood when Mr. Whacker is on the loose!), drunks, driving too fast, constant yelling, illegal parking, loud crap music, out of control children, roosters crowing, illegal fireworks, convicted felons, and intrusion of massage parlors and liquor stores. Gosh, people, where's the love?

We've managed to get along with a variety of neighbors over the years, including the ultra-religious square dancers across the street always feuding with their elderly next door neighbor's 40 year-old alcoholic son washing his car wearing nothing but a Texas-flag Speedo (not a good look for him), and the a tow-truck company owner and his dysfunction offspring, including unemployed/unemployable daughter B and her nogoodnik "husband", S, and children C and Little S or "Bubba". Poor C, the spitting image of her mother, talked non-stop and as a result Bubba never learned to speak. He could only grunt. Except when he got excited he would grunt, point, and jump up and down. I'm sure he learned language skills once he entered kindergarten. At least I hope so. Anyway, the tow truck kids used to drive Aaron crazy. They loved Andy (probably because they thought he was a kid that got to drive a car) and therefore, called/grunted our son Aaron "Andy-Boy". Aaron would cry, "It's Aaron!" and C would reply "I know, Andy-Boy."

There were lots of interesting events with the square dancers (we politely declined their invitation to do-se-do and switch partners... they eventually divorced, and it got ugly with restraining orders, guns drawn and such...in total contradiction to their Christian views) and their poor teenaged daughter with her hideous skin disorder (no doubt an allergy to her parents). Also, having a tow truck driver as a neighbor came in handy when I backed my VW into a ditch during the City's installation of a new sewer line and when my Jeep stalled on the Woodall-Rogers overpass during morning rush hour. (Do you know how rude people are when you break down on one of Dallas's busiest freeway ramps? Excessively rude! And to the point where I was forced to yell at one awful man in a pick up truck; "What the ---- do you expect me to do?" Please know that I never cuss out loud - so that was big deal - and strangely therapeutic.) As far as neighbors, things wouldn't have been too bad with the tow truckers if only B would have divorced S, gone to community college and had an extreme makeover.

Now that I'm thinking about it, my old neighbors were much more "out there" with their personal issues. For the most part, our current neighbors keep things under wraps. I guess because a security patrol comes with the home owner association package and odd behavior is not really tolerated out in the open. We also have an e-mail system where a designated person alerts us of neighborhood goings on like coyote sightings, missing pets, magazine sales/conmen, identity thieves rummaging through the garbage, wayward ducks, and generally suspicious men having no business walking along the green belt. With that warning, I suggested to "Andy-Boy" that he stay off the green belt and always carry his ID to prove that he actually lives in the neighborhood.

I must say this exercise has made me re-think the neighbor connection. I really don't want to get to know them all that well. I'll stick with Robert Frost and his "Good fences make good neighbors." Now, if we could just build a fence.

CitizenB

I'm Relieved, How Are You?

Fellow Citizens:

I’m Relieved, How Are You?

Finally! There’s hope for change. There’s hope for looking at the big picture. There’s now ‘us’, not just ‘me, me & me.” Goodbye, Joe Six-Pack and Joe the Plumber! Hello, Joe and Josephine Economist, Humanitarian, Realist. Oh, it felt so good to vote yesterday.

Last night, I was never so relieved to hear the words “Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Virginia, New Mexico...”

When CNN called it at 10:00, tears were welling up.

I was truly impressed with McCain’s concession speech (with the exception of “my friends”). If he had only been that independent, honest and human in his campaign, it might have been a closer race. With such a big Bush burden, he made too many mistakes (selling out, for example). Sure, they were all bummed to the max, but where was the love and support for each other? Cindy McCain was standing a mile away from her husband with a “Laura Bush smile” and “don’t touch me” look on her face, Sarah Palin looked as if she was going to throw up (at least the tear in her eye confirmed that she’s human and not all pit), and First Dude Palin looked angry! You could visibly see no love lost between McCain and Palin. Goodbye, Caribou Barbie and Redneck Woman (for now)! Thank goodness for McCain’s mother…she may have been his only comfort.

Also, how cute was Biden’s 90 year old mother? She was so overwhelmed by that crowd! I wish Toot had been there for Obama. How bittersweet for him.

Here are my favorite lines from Obama’s victory speech. It was perfect. He didn’t say “Look” once!

“But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you. It belongs to you.” (My favorite – I was spurting tears at that point)

“The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.”

“What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.”

“So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, its that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.”

“Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, We are not enemies, but friends...though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.”

“For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.”

“This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we cant, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people.”

Yes, Texas is still solid Red; however, 3.5 million Texans voted for Obama (44% of 8 million votes) when there was no major push by the Dem party to win votes as in FL, PA and OH. I was really hoping it would have been closer to 50/50 but this is still a State in denial and on the defensive ala Bush.
Lastly, I went back and looked at my prior entries to see if I was politically naïve or maybe on to something. This is what I found:
From 10/16/08 “I’m Not President Bush”: I really don’t want to spew the negative but I believe that McCain has sold out on a lot of issues just to get elected and he certainly is not the same 2000 “maverick-y” McCain (not that I would have voted for him then – I love you, Al Gore even if you’re incredibly boring). This country needs SIGNIFICANT change and IMO, Obama clearly has what it takes - plus a lot less irritating personal traits. Considering the mess we’ve gotten into (all while Bush has been vacationing in Crawford for the last 4 years) it’s going to take a lot of energy, focus, diplomacy, intelligence, realistic solutions, sacrifice, fairness, and emphasis on education (where it all starts), health care and other basic rights and responsibilities. We’ve got to get it right at home before we go out “liberating” others. We can’t act or fail to act based on fear.
From 11/1/08 “My Obsession with Pop Culture…”: Last, but not least, and because this entry comes on the eve of a historic election, a dream that comes to mind is the ‘American Dream’ (maybe I should insert ‘my friends’ for political non-effect.) Yes, I believe that it exists. History tells me so. When we get frustrated and worried about the state of the union (all with good reason) just remember that we have freedom and opportunity or at least freedom to create some kind of opportunity. We can’t be complacent, take things for granted and expect all to be great. Now’s the time to step up, reevaluate our priorities and contribute (I may have to give up my pop culture obsession for the greater good). Giving of ourselves will get us through. Remember your vote (and dreams) count.

CitizenB

My Obsession with Pop Culture, Dreams & The Vote

Fellow Citizens:

Happy Monday to all! Well, Halloween is over and we’re moving on to a really big day – November 4. I would love to see photos of your kids or grandchildren or any kid, for that matter, in costumes. We had our usual stampede of trick-or-treaters and they were all really cute and surprisingly well-mannered. Very few snotty noses and sticky hands. One boy of about 10 was carting around a black kitten dressed as a devil. He said that he found the cat abandoned in an alley covered in ants and decided to rescue him. The cat (named something like Desperado) didn’t seem to mind trick-or-treating and I really had to hold back on not bartering for the cat with a bowl full of “airheads” candy.

Here’s the latest entry from the weekend:

My Obsession with Pop Culture, Dreams & The Vote

A few weeks ago I happened to watch a new TV sitcom starring the guy who played Bob Sugar (actor Jay Mohr), Tom Cruise’s sports agent rival in ‘Jerry Maguire.’ When Tom Cruise is involved, I always root for the rival or enemy, no matter how despicable and even if it means the world will explode. Besides, Bob Sugar didn’t have the ridiculous line “You complete me” so he’s my hero.

Bob Sugar as ‘Gary, Unmarried’ is much beefier now and barely recognizable as Bob Sugar. He and the other actors on the show also have badly capped teeth. The teeth are distracting which may be a good thing. Plus the show needs a new wardrobe person. And a hair-stylist. Anyway, one line in the show caught my attention. Gary-Bob-Jay, a house painter, and his ex-wife, a clone of every other 30-something brunette actress on TV, disclose that a) he has a new, much younger and way hotter girlfriend (played by a former super model..oh, sure supermodels always date house painters – wait didn’t John Cougar Mellencamp snag one? Nevermind), and b) she is engaged to be married to none other than their former marriage counselor/therapist (Ed Begley Jr.) When Gary-Bob-Jay encounters Ed Begley Jr. he states something along the lines of “I don’t know what’s worse; you hooking up with my ex-wife or making me keep a dream journal.”

A dream journal. An Ed Begley Jr. type has never suggested that I keep one, but you guessed it, I actually keep a dream journal (surprise). I dream a lot. All the time. I’m a dreamer.

Of course, this led me to think about dreams. What do they mean? Do they serve a purpose? Do we really act on them? Why do I journal them?

I’ll first address day dreams, and in my case, a likely symptom of attention deficit disorder. My favorite day dream is where I’m a young Ava Gardner (without all the marriages, specifically to Mickey Rooney/Andy Hardy, although it’s weird because I’m married to an Andy and he is slightly taller than Mickey Rooney..I love you, honey, all 5’7’’of you.) In Ava mode, I travel the world and it’s so easy! No matter where I go, I’m always dressed in a white sundress and heels, wearing Ray Bans, and carrying a vintage suitcase (round, also white, no wheels). I exit the plane outdoors in beautiful, smog-free weather (no suffocating jet bridges). Unlike in real life, I never trip, stumble, break a nail while fumbling with my luggage (black, basic, Samsonite) or forget to place all 3 oz containers of liquids into FAA regulation quart size Ziploc bags for separate screening. I’m permanently on vacation and drive around exotic locations in a convertible. I’m never too cold or too hot, layers are not required, and I’m always splendidly happy. Fortunately and unlike in other women’s dreams, Fabio never shows up. The Italian Stud and his fake butter…what kind of a fantasy is that? Give me Colin Firth and extra virgin olive oil any day!

Next are the dreams that occur while sleeping…always vivid (and utterly strange) with an occasional nightmare. I know there are scientific theories about R.E.M. and overactive neurotransmitters, as well as the effect of external stimuli (too much TV) and mood (usually irritable). What about snoring as a stimulus? I wonder if snoring affects your dreams or just the dreams of the person in bed next to you. This may explain why Andy never dreams. Regarding that topic, I’m sorry, but I’m not giving up my uvula (look it up) in order to correct my snoring disorder/poorly constructed throat.

Moving on. I’m also aware of an entire industry devoted to dream interpretation because several years ago I became concerned about the recurrence of snakes and pickles in my dreams. In one recurring dream, I climb a glass staircase filled with pickles. I was relieved to learn from a dream interpretation source that snakes and pickles are not necessarily bad omens and most likely a representation of my struggle to overcome a world of male-dominance.

As a country, we obviously need more scientific research in this area. I fully expect a legislator (possibly one with a Wiccan constituency) to add this as pork to a health care bill or possibly carve out as an entitlement. It will cost a fortune but at least I, and others like me, will no longer fear or try to trample pickles.

We’ve all had dreams about going to work naked (or discovering you’re naked at work), forgetting your locker combination, being chased by ninjas, searching unsuccessfully for a clean, operational bathroom (when you really, really need to go), driving at night without headlights, traveling in airplanes that taxi forever and never take off (the wings just fold up) and reuniting with dead relatives, among other common themes.

I’ve had all those dreams, multiple times. My deceased grandfathers show up on occasion looking like Abe Lincoln (PaPa) and Jason Robards (Grannin). Once I attended the Grammy Awards (or it could have been the American Music Awards – the fashion on the red carpet was atrocious!) with my grandmother (looked just like MeMa, bless her, and not the Queen Mother – but close). She wore a red corsage and I wore a black pant suit (even in my dreams I’m fashion-challenged!) but with a red blouse unbuttoned and revealing a white undergarment (a very risqué cotton Playtex). Also, an occasional “celebrity” appears. Some of the better known celebrities in my dreams are Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (don’t ask), Daryl Hannah, and Suzanne Pleshette (why?)

A strange thing occurred with the Pleshette dream. I hadn’t though of her (at least consciously) in decades and for some unknown reason she appeared in my dream from January 13, 2008. In the dream, I hitched a ride with Ms. Pleshette and her elderly father (possibly a ghost because I could poke my finger through him) in their luxury SUV after walking barefoot on blistering hot pavement after my car broke down and other sorted misadventures. As a Good Samaritan, Suzanne gave me a lift to Houston where I was to visit a cave. Her father, the ghost, talked nonstop about “back in the day” and the high plains.

One week later on January 20, I was fully awake and reading the Sunday newspaper. There it was – an obit “Suzanne Pleshette, Actress Who Played Bob Newhart’s TV Wife Dies.” I believe the Ancient Egyptians would have appreciated the spookiness of that dream (and many others) and possibly mummified me in a special pyramid. But at another time and place, I might have been burned at the stake. To preserve the evidence, I pasted a copy of the obit next to my journal entry in case a future anthropologist is desperate for material.

We all know how difficult it is to put work out of your mind. A couple of memorable dreams involved the office. In one, I went into labor on my desk while my co-workers stood around chain smoking and waiting for the baby’s head to crown, at least I hope it was a baby and not a four volume claim file, and in the other, I had to keep my combo desk/treadmill going at 6 mph (at an incline!) in order to feed correspondence into a special transmission slot to the home office to meet productivity objectives. At one point I collapsed from exhaustion and slipped off the back of the desk/treadmill. An unidentified co-worker wearing a skirt and matching head/sweatband jumped on as an assist. We were all giving each other high fives at the end of the day. Teamwork! I woke up feeling okay and a pound lighter!

I frequently dream about animals (other than snakes). Once I had two black cats as pets, Zoe and Biggs, both adopted strays. Zoe went missing one cold December morning and I was very worried about what happened to her. Andy’s theory was that a Great Horned Owl swept down from atop the flagpole on Flag Pole Hill on to the greenbelt and carried her away. I refused to believe it and dreamt that I was driving down a deserted service road and came across Zoe walking along carrying a bindle over her shoulder. I quickly opened the car door and she jumped in apparently having had enough of life as a hobo cat. Zoe was covered in red marks and had a very bad cough. Back at home, she and Biggs did not immediately recognize each other and a small cat fight broke out. Biggs, the top cat, then sat up on his hind legs (much like a baboon) and allowed Zoe to burrow her head into his chest. He began to lick her injured head. It was a touching reunion but unfortunately just a dream. The Great Horned Owl never returned Zoe. Please know that we did everything to locate that darn cat even though she was wild and horribly bad-mannered. Even when she scratched our faces (while simultaneously purring) we chose to believe that she was misunderstood (cat bi-polar) and needed love.

Occasionally in my dreams, I will rescue a neglected baby and then do a terrible job of feeding it all the wrong things. I also need to be rescued quite frequently. Once a priest helped me downstairs from my old apartment on Beltline Road (I still had a key and tried to hide there) and across a bloody riot scene (too gruesome to describe) to the safety of a high school football field where a marching band was playing “Everybody Dance Now!” Thankfully, the priest was not played by Tom Cruise. That would have been a legitimate nightmare.

Last, but not least, and because this entry comes on the eve of a historic election, a dream that comes to mind is the ‘American Dream’ (maybe I should insert ‘my friends’ for political non-effect.) Yes, I believe that it exists. History tells me so. When we get frustrated and worried about the state of the union (all with good reason) just remember that we have freedom and opportunity or at least freedom to create some kind of opportunity. We can’t be complacent, take things for granted and expect all to be great. Now’s the time to step up, reevaluate our priorities and contribute (I may have to give up my pop culture obsession for the greater good). Giving of ourselves will get us through.

Remember your vote (and dreams) count.

Have a great week!

CitizenB

Sweaters & Self-Discovery

Fellow Citizens:

This morning the cooler temperature precipitated a question that hasn’t come up for months. Do I own a suitable sweater (one that fits), and if so, where to look? First, I took a gander into my abyss of a closet, and found a barricade of mostly black shoes preventing me from stepping more than a toe into the 'space'. After climbing atop a pile of shoe debris and balancing one foot on the heel of a short boot and the other on a flip-flop (strangely, it gave me a weird sensation, of well, being graceful, moments before certain peril, I imagine much like the feeling many mountain climbers have when reaching the summit), I half-heartedly attempted to search the far reaches of the black hole (where sweaters might be). I gave up and decided to inspect the upstairs closets where the 'off-season' clothing lives thinking my chances would be slightly better for not breaking an ankle or losing an eye to a wayward wire hanger. In the unlikely event you're worried about how I get dressed every day, the clothes I wear over and over are all within a muscle spasm-arm reach of the closet doorway - no entry required.

First I checked the guest room closets and found only hundreds maybe thousands of men’s coats/jackets (another subject, but remind me to tell you about the time I was forced to retrieve one of Andy's jackets after I'd donated it to a coat drive for homeless/really cold people!), a couple of swimsuit cover ups, vacation T-shirts, a bridesmaid dress, and other items that are not considered real clothes. While thinking that Andy, on one of his manic cleaning sprees, must have chucked all my winter clothes along with other miscellaneous valuables – as he has done in the past with my roosting chicken salt & peppers(!!), bagel-slicer(!), salad shooter (eh..), and very un-'juicy' teal velour track suit (okay; it needed to go) - I decided to check out the storage area for really old clothing and other keepsakes, including my collection of Thomas McKnight jigsaw puzzles - or the large walk-in closet located between Andy’s Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired office and the bathroom with the 80’s pastel blue country calico wallpaper.

Fortunately, this closet is wide and shallow unlike the abyss, with way better lighting because the 'green' light bulbs haven't made their way to the forgotten upstairs (I'll get to that next year, Planet Earth); and the blockade of storage bins, file boxes and baskets doesn’t prevent me from looking at four decades of random clothing (from the waist up) that has somehow managed to avoid Goodwill Industries. To the left, I see Andy’s 3-piece Austin Reed 1979 wedding suit from the young men's department at Gabriel's (Mr. Triumph Bonneville! doesn't realise he was an Anglophile way back), my blue puffy coat circa 1974, the crocheted sweater crafted by 'Granny George' back in my 1980-1987 Sentry Insurance days (Georgia was the office mascot/file clerk who told dirty jokes well into her 80s - I miss you, Granny George, and I wish you were still alive because I need you (filing emergency), I really need you (lack of corny jokes)!, and assorted dresses, suits, blouses and pants, including my first pair of CK jeans, “nothing comes between me and my Calvins” from 1981. Remember when Oprah starved herself to fit into her Calvins and wheeled a wagon of lard representing her fat loss on stage? I promise I won’t do that. However, I can’t promise that my eyebrows will never resemble Brooke Shields’ (see example below -my brows are about to take flight).

To the far right of the closet, I finally discovered my Ralph Lauren sweater coat and other new-ish, possibly suitable (less than 10 years old) winter clothes. I grabbed an armful and attempted to pull across the plastic storage bin full of really important stuff like old wrapping paper situated under the baskets of photo album rejects (okay; not the best storage system). A clothing/wicker jam ensued and as I untangled the hangers, I noticed a photo of really big hair peeking out of the photo reject basket. Curious and easily distracted, I pulled out a stack of 'Glamour Shots' from the mid-80s, including the most ridiculously scary “1-900” photo ever taken. God never intended this wholesome baby face to look seductive (the look the 'photographer' was going for) and I was obviously uncomfortable with the full length black gloves, bare shoulders, red lipstick, and clip-on rhinestone earrings. The other poses were just as bad – my really big hair in a black leather jacket, gold studded denim, emerald green lame' shrouded tube top - all while looking a bit like a nauseous Marie Osmond, years before her totally publicity-driven fainting spell on DWTS.



Also, for the record, Donny O = gross, and to think that as an 11 year old I used to plead with him when he chirped "Go away, Little Girl." So sad, but our Tiger Beat options were severely limited in the early 70's. Thankfully he soon was replaced in my heart by the very talented Robbie Benson, who didn't sing, at least that I know of. God I hope not.

Getting back to the photo reject, I showed Andy the "1-900" discovery and his response was similar to mine, of course without all the babbling, and with the addition of "You can see there was a good-looking girl in there, somewhere." My husband knows how to give a compliment!

Curious: Do 1-900 numbers still exist or have they been replaced by the internet? (No answer required)

Anyway, all of this got me thinking that in the 80’s I was quite the fashion risk-taker. Of course it helped that I was in my 20’s, a size 7/9, and shopped in the junior department for most of the decade. I wore a lot of actual “outfits” and despite its reputation as one of the worst decades ever (it's all your fault, Boy George), I dare say I looked really cute in assorted ensembles (and nothing like the above - much). As a young career woman, I wore lots of suits with pencil skirts and flower pins, silk, linen and sweater dresses, both wide and skinny belts, ruffled blouses, scarfs and ties, colors other than black etc. Like most women, I actually wore slips and lacy camisoles... and the occasional glove! I had an entire drawer assigned to L'eggs panty hose (control top/sandal toe in jet black) and another to shoulder pads of all sizes. One good thing about wearing shoulder pads: you were never lonely in that there was always a presence of another person standing just beside you. I believe I may have carried on a conversation or two with my shoulder pads. A shoulder pad could be a really good friend in a pinch. You could cry on your own shoulder - no problem. They certainly increased my self-esteem - and ability to defend myself in a dark alley.

I've decided “business casual” or nearly 30 years in the insurance industry has ruined my sense of fashion risk-taking and feminine style. That or it’s more difficult to be fashion-forward as someone who resembles a size 12/14 Buddha with long legs. It’s now all about separates - black pants (no pleats), Gap cotton/spandex tanks, starched Liz Claiborne shirts, and genuine Jockey. Functional. Boring. But not naked.

So today after my closeted walk down 80’s lane, I was inspired to wear an “outfit” – well, really a black skirt (kind of faded), black leggings, black clunky heels , and a fashionable sweater - black and gray - that is if Kohl’s sells actual fashion (step it up, Daisy Fuentes!) with silver earrings - you know, to match the gray. I would have preferred Escada or a power-campaign suit from Saks or Neiman Marcus, but hey, I don’t have a political party to bankroll my wardrobe!

Okay. You're probably wondering (or not) about the self-discovery part. Well, I discovered:
a) Shoulder pads, not just hard work, made my career,
b) Like all women, there's an urge to play dress up even if you look ridiculous and IT'S OKAY as long as you don't rely on a 'business manager' (a/k/a Heidi Fleiss) and earn cash that way,
c) if you ignore things long enough (ie; upstairs bathroom wallpaper) they come back in style (if you don't believe me check out the calico/gingham in Marc Jacobs' Spring 2009 Collection), and
d) I might be turning into Granny George. In 20 years, I'll still be working in an insurance office wearing that crocheted sweater and L'eggs support hose. On the flip side, my Calvins (with an added elastic waistband for comfort) will probably fit due to osteoporosis. Finally!

Seriously, I was reminded that it is all about self-confidence - something I was sorely lacking at that 1980-something 'Glamour, schlamour" shoot. If you think you look good, you will look good. Lift your head, pull back your shoulders (padded or not), and most importantly suck in your gut. Remember always to squint when looking in the mirror. You'll look thinner.

Lastly,I’m taking applications for closet clutter counselors (closeted, optional), bathroom wallpaper-ers, and wannabe Project 'Size L' Runway fashion designers to create my new look for 2009. Only the fearless need apply. If there are any unemployed S.W.A.T. team members out there (Mr. T?) fax your resume pronto.

If you are not interested in applying, I would still love to hear from you, so if you have time when not working, please call, write, blog! I really need to know that I'm not the only "1-900" Glamour Shot out there.

CitizenB

P.S. I was able to rescue the s & p chickens and bagel-slicer before trash day. Take that, Mr. Anglophile Jacket Collector!

Early Voting & Newspaper Political Endorsements

Fellow Citizens:

Reminder! Early voting begins Mon, 10/20 and ends Fri, 10/31. Election Day is Tues, 11/4.

As per usual habit on Sundays, I checked out the Dallas Morning News, Section P "Points" (I’ve renamed Section P-U), and was not at all surprised to find that the News endorsed McCain with this tag: "We Recommend John McCain's experienced courage for president." The DMN has supported Republican candidates for as long as I can remember. For some reason I still take this paper mainly because I can't live without the crossword (Section @#&!) or the one section that is impossible to find and the Sunday "Target" advertisement. My Dallas news of choice, The Times Herald, tanked many years ago. Also, for the record
The Dallas Observer (free alternative news) has too many weird personal ads like toasters trying to hook up with blenders and so on...

Back to the DMN and its lame-o recommendation (I knew it was coming). Some editorial excerpts:

"Mr. McCain offers the continuity, stability and sense of authority people want..” (Continuity...just what we need),

"...voters aren't electing a debater-in-chief" (They know their man sucketh),

"As inspiring as Mr. Obama's history-making presidential bid has been, it is risky to take a chance on an untried leader at this point in our history" (what? IMO, Obama shows more leadership ability in his little finger)

…and now for the DMN "disclaimer"...

"To be sure, a McCain vote also involves an element of risk. His bellicose temperament causes concern, chiefly about his impulsive judgment.” (Ya think?).

“ If this election was about congeniality and cool, Mr. Obama would easily prevail." (Condescending much?)

"But electing the president is not a popularity contest." (Someone please inform Palin of this)

"Mr. McCain has better policies." (Choke)

"He has more experience. And he has proven independence of mind". (Yes, we know about all that Maverick stuff.)

"In these tough times, John McCain is the right man for America." (Of note: There was NO MENTION OF PALIN at all...chickens!)

Reading this got me wondering about other major newspaper endorsements in this really BIG RED state, so I searched and found the following:

Houston Chronicle : Obama (He'll need Harris County's large vote)
San Antonio EN : McCain (A military center)
Austin Am-State : Obama (A place for real independent thinkers!)
Fort Worth Star-T : I couldn't find an endorsement today (so what are they thinking in Cowtown?)
Waco Tribune : "Just Vote" is the message. Excerpt: "...so after long, even painful, deliberation, we have decided to side with neither Obama nor McCain" (I don’t know what to think about that!)
Bryan/College Station
Eagle : Obama! (I'm proud to be the sister of an Aggie!..Isn’t that a bumper sticker?)
Lufkin Daily News : Obama (Excerpt: "Another consideration is that we should elect a president whose vice president would be ready to lead if, heaven forbid, the president was to die in office. We think Joe Biden's experience overwhelms Sarah Palin's limited appeal as a candidate who would instill confidence during a national crisis. At the end of the day, it's about how you and your family will fare — while still caring how your neighbor and the needy guy down the block is doing.")
Lubbock News : McCain (No help from the academics at Texas Tech)
Amarillo : McCain (no surprise...the last time I was in Amarillo for mediation it was totally male-dominated and old school, and as flat as a pancake, to boot.)
Corpus Christi : McCain (obviously to much sand in their ears)
Beaumont Enterprise : McCain (I'll never understand Beaumont)
Galveston : Clinton (Bill)....joking....I couldn't find an endorsement but their obvious primary focus is recovery from Hurricane Ike.
El Paso Times : I couldn't find an endorsement but that city's newspaper reports that Obama is pulling away from McCain. Really?

An interesting note about Dallas (from D Magazine)...a poll of District 108, the wealthiest part of Dallas reports that Obama leads. “The suburban vote has been the core of Republican strength in Texas.” Does this mean that the DMN editors live in the burbs and not Highland Park?

Also of major significance, 7-Eleven's coffee cup poll reports Obama won by a landslide (even in Texas)…let’s hope there is some meaning other than people (hopefully registered voters) like their coffee in blue cups.

In that I just can't stop...I checked wikipedia and found that of 121 newspaper/publications countrywide, 95 endorsed Obama and 26 McCain. The New Yorker, Esquire and Rolling Stone endorse Obama. No surprises there.

A sample of city newspapers for Obama: Seattle, Miami, Atlanta, St. Louis, Chicago (both Sun Times and Tribune), Los Angeles, Kansas City, Cleveland, Toledo, Orlando, Lexington, Sarasota (hi Cass!) and Dayton, OH. I didn’t really check out northeast cities or those in clearly blue states but I think one paper in New Hampshire may have endorsed McCain.

I mention Dayton because I'm traveling there (today) and thought in my off hours I might try to rally some of those undecided OH voters. I read somewhere that the OH dilemna is McCain's too old and Obama's untested. I'm not sure how that is specific to OH but I say McCain's too old and too well tested on many issues. On second thought, I'll probably lock myself in my deserted downtown hotel room and watch "Dancing with the Stars" or maybe “Chuck.” I’m not sure I want to see Cloris Leachman lose her wig again.

The other big news is that former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorses Obama. Even bigger is that single women support Obama because he's way hotter.

Signing off. Thanks for reading. Wish me luck in Dayton and have a great week!

CitizenB

"I'm Not President Bush" - Are You Sure About That?

Fellow Citizens:

Hope all’s well.

My latest blog entry is as a result of the debate, my hyperactive mind, obsessive list-making, and lack of a life:

In last night’s debate, McCain’s one so-called good sound bite was “I’m not President Bush.” Well, you could've fooled me! While I believe that Palin has a lot of Bush characteristics, below is a list of McCain-Bush similarities. Of course, these are my opinions only and I’m just a regular person (a tree-hugging centrist leaning to the left) and as Jeane calls me “a blue chick living in a red state.” (hi, Jeane!)

Same narrow focus,
Same arrogant indifference,
Same sarcasm,
Same sputtering answers,
Same self-righteousness,
Same spoiled brat reactions (we’re how old?),
Same condescension (“I admire your eloquence but you just don’t understand” blah blah blah),
Same self-praise (in Bush’s case a probable sign of an inferiority complex)
Same smirky facial expressions (plus a lot of blinking not to mention that creepy smile),
Same waving the patriotic flag a little too much,
Same “it’s my way or the highway” approach,
Same questionable judgment in selecting running mates (a total understatement),
Same son of privilege trying to prove his value and live up to a family legacy,
Same too much desperation to be President,
Same quick fix offers with no real substance (sure, I can balance a trillion dollar deficit (once a surplus just 8 short years ago) and give you energy independence and health care in 4 short years, with tax cuts for all, all while continuing and/or starting a few wars! I’ll get ‘em!)
Same empty promises (see above),
Same view of use (abuse) of executive power (ditto for Palin and First Dude Palin),
Same “sweetheart” deals gone wrong,
Same alignment on the economy, Iraq and health care (all disastrous),
Same “let’s boost education by competition but not pay for it”,
Same support for appointment of ultra-conservative justices,
Same view against the constitutional right of choice for women (even more so than Bush - scary),
Same skewed view of women ala 1960, (Palin a role model for all women? In what decade? On what planet?)
Same support for tax cuts for the wealthy,
And last but not least,
Same trust in Phil Gramm (nuff said!) in matters of the economy including credit swaps, derivatives and all other disastrous deregulation of finance that has caused us to crash and burn.

Gosh. I’m surprised the list was that long. I really don’t want to spew the negative but I believe that McCain has sold out on a lot of issues just to get elected and he certainly is not the same 2000 “maverick-y” McCain (not that I would have voted for him then – I love you, Al Gore even if you’re incredibly boring). This country needs SIGNIFICANT change and IMO, Obama clearly has what it takes - plus a lot less irritating personal traits. Considering the mess we’ve gotten into (all while Bush has been vacationing in Crawford for the last 4 years) it’s going to take a lot of energy, focus, diplomacy, intelligence, realistic solutions, sacrifice, fairness, and emphasis on education (where it all starts), health care and other basic rights and responsibilities. We’ve got to get it right at home before we go out “liberating” others. We can’t act or fail to act based on fear.

Some of you may disagree in part or whole, but thanks for allowing me to get this off my chest.

I’ll stop now.

P.S. Joe the Plumber is faring okay…much better than most…there is real poverty in this country…so I don’t feel too bad if he can’t afford a bass boat.

Speaking of “Joes”…for the record, I never want to hear the term “Joe Six-Pack” again. We can do better than that.

Vote Obama-Biden

I’m stopping now – promise.

CitizenB

My Office! Transformed! Holy Zen!

Fellow Citizens:

This week’s blog is about the office:

As most of you know, I’ve worked in an insurance office for 11 years. It’s a typical suburban office building – not very exciting. The interior is “Joe Versus the Volcano” (before the volcano adventure part and without Tom Hanks) – all gray and beige – with harsh fluorescent lighting, acoustic ceiling tiles and multi-color industrial carpet that still manages to show coffee stains. There’s a lot of metal, molded plastic and faux wood finish fixed between cubicle walls. The typical office erector set. The “art work” is fairly sad. The muted landscapes somehow make nature totally uninteresting. There are windows but the metal blinds stay tightly closed to shut out glare on computer screens and to block heat or cold in that the air conditioning/heating system is fickle. (It’s totally possible to simultaneously have freezing feet and sweaty armpits in this building.) Live plants have been banned for years due to pest control issues and to prevent the spread of a yet to be detected flesh-eating fungus. (We are an insurance company – our job is to minimize risk - a/k/a happiness - of all kinds.)

The front and back lobby and central atrium aren’t very welcoming even though there was an obvious attempt to upgrade with plush emerald green carpet, diamond-patterned ceramic tile and a few club chairs for visitors. Long ago there was an actual human stationed at the front desk. One out of three times she would smile when you walked in. (I took notes.) Now there are wall-mounted telephones in front of locked doors leading to the offices. The elevators strain to move up and down four floors. I’ve always envisioned an elevator donkey laboring in the control closet. Break rooms and bathrooms are functional (mostly) but faded. The lady’s room is equipped with a pink couch and an old-fashioned bathroom scale. The men don’t have a couch or a scale. I looked. Why? Most men (besides perhaps Larry Craig) don’t commingle in bathrooms. The vending machines are at least 30 years old. A dollar bill has been jammed in the coke machine for weeks. Not that I eat them often but most of the candy bars taste like sand. Coffee is no longer provided by the company. Sorry, you must arrive alert. In the break room, there is an old 19” television with rabbit ears. Employees catch a few minutes of “The Price is Right” (with Drew Carey) on break and a group of Field Ops Support clerks tune in to “One Life to Live” at lunch. Those are the only two programs available.

Please know that I am not complaining. Generic is good. Work is good. A paper bunker is good. I love beige. In this economy, it probably won’t last long.
Besides I have happy things at my desk:
“William” a blue ceramic Egyptian hippo as a gift from the MET,
Frog figurine in the lotus position (ohm),
Stone sleeping black cat that is actually intended to keep one’s chopstick from touching the table,
Orange “Elvis” koziol tape dispenser,
Persian mouse rug – well worn,
Kiehl’s deluxe hand lotion “grapefruit”,
Purell hand sanitizer (the company’s attempt to prevent spread of germs and sick days),
Modern desk clock from Target,
Sushi plate to hold my ink pad, date stamp, and assorted pens,
Georgia O’Keefe cube/wall calendar to record birthdays,
Generic company issued desk calendar used to record telephone messages and doodles,
World Wildlife Fund Baby Animals calendar to record important dates like trials, mediations, deadlines etc. (ok, so I’m calendar-crazy),
Clay paper clip holder handcrafted by Aaron in 5th grade,
Decorative ceramic tile from Oaxaca used as a coaster,
Important reference books including Black’s Law Dictionary, Office Yoga, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook (Work)*, and Girls Rule!,
5 X 7 photo of the ultimate in cuteness: niece Micah in denim dress and pink cowboy boots,
First aid kit (I get paper cuts and bleed often),
My favorite gum eraser with the quote “O hateful error” by Julius Caesar, and last but not least,
“Burnout” cartoon depicting a wolf staring (not howling) at the moon with the caption “Moon, Shmoon.”

Whoa. I didn’t realize I had so many happy things on my desk. Now back to the purpose of this blog. There have been very recent dramatic changes. The building was sold not long ago and we, the insurance office, now lease space versus own the entire building – and it shows. Things are now under the direction of new ownership and the building manager, Sparkle (not spackle). Sparkle has an eye for Zen. Yes, we had to put up with wrecking balls and wet paint…and the lobby smelled like a barn for three days (due to new plantings/organic fertilizer in the central atrium), but, wow, you should see the place.

The new and improved central atrium has a teak floor (it could be bamboo), a beautiful stone wall, a water feature, live plants, and best of all, hanging art! The art consists of large, wispy, white kite-like mobiles and new, mod beehive-shaped light features in the lobby. There’s more…a new break room on the first floor and a remodeled bathroom with no-touch soap dispensers and faucets, self-flushing toilets (goodbye, Purell!), stainless steel sinks and stall doors, fancy miniature tile back splash and ultra-cool lighting. I want to move my paper bunker into the bathroom.

I’m almost done. The next best things to the bathroom and kites are the state-of-the-art vending machines. They shine like golden idols. I kid you not, the “beverage” machine is stocked with Monsters, Red Bulls, bottled Frappuccino, five kinds of juices, Perrier, V-fusion, assorted diet colas, sports drinks etc. It’s high tech with low-touch buttons and there’s no bending over to blindly fish around for your drink inside the trap door while cramping your wrist. A waiter practically hands you the bottle. Insert $1 and voila! Speaking of blindness, the snack machine actually has Braille on the selection buttons (an ADA requirement?) and is stocked with fresh-looking, somewhat edible snacks and items like Ramen noodles (just add water). I spend at least 10 minutes a day just staring at the machines. I would say that we're on our way to becoming a “W” hotel. Would it be too much to ask for a roof-top bar and a bathroom sofa that folds into a “heavenly bed”?

Thank you, Sparkle!

Have a great weekend.

*Important work survival topics:

How to stay awake and not drool in a meeting,
How to deal with the co-worker/teller of bad jokes,
What to do if you become intoxicated at the office picnic,
And other helpful hints.

P.S. It’s just too nice so I’m sure we’ll be moving out soon.

CitizenB

Gynecology & "Yard of the Month"

Fellow Citizens:

In today's mail, I was fortunate to receive "The Journal," a free, but prestigious community publication "serving the residents and businesses" of my City since 2001.  The first page of Section B "Communities" caught my eye. Our neighborhood always awards a less-than-deserving but obviously well-connected homeowner with the "Yard of the Month".  My husband Andy and I are always amazed at the yards selected. Yes, they are neat and well-maintained but in our opinion, BORING. Secretly we are jealous and hurt "the committee" under-appreciates our wild Texas native plants and our unique style of gardening, which extends to our neighbors' yards   ( without their official consent I must add - but all in the name of neighborhood beautification). That's another topic but word probably got out to "the committee" that Andy accidentally severed tubing to our neighbor's mosquito system while pruning our/their transplanted Wisteria plant brought in from our trip to Wilmington a few years ago.

Anyway, I can't hold back and must comment on this month's "Yard." It belongs to dear old Dr. and Mrs G.   I've been a loyal (but potentially misguided as of the past 5 years) patient of Dr.Gs since, well,  forever. He started his OB-GYN practice in the early 1950's years before my own birth. He's well in to his 80's (I did the math while waiting in the exam room). Dr. G may be elderly but he is caring and very methodical.  I made the mistake of asking about his retirement a few years ago and that was a big NO-NO. Fortunately, I was dressed and not in the stirrups position as his response was very sharp and something a/k/a uterus could have been broken with an instrument.

Dr. G is tireless as a physician and you've got to give him credit for sticking around to attend to me and his one other patient's GYN needs. I've learned to overlook the mismatched socks, slightly worn-on-one-side orthopedic shoe, the traces of crusted Maalox in the corners of his mouth and the 30 minutes it takes for Dr. G to read aloud every note and test result from my last visit before we can get started while I sit freezing in my paper gown (open in the back) wondering if I remembered to shave my legs and studying the floral, pastel wallpaper border – with the design name “universal gynecological exam print”, all while his Eastern-European nurse stands in the corner tightly gripping her pen and taking deep breaths. I honestly don't know if any of my test results have been valid over the past few years due to failing eyesight, possible tremors etc. but I figure with all his years of practice, Dr. G can do all these things in his sleep (and probably does on occasion), so I'm good to go. I just don't know how to move on.


While I’m accepting of Dr. Gs “quirks”, the one real sticking point is my "chart." It is voluminous and full of illegible handwriting, fading laboratory results, complex diagrams etc. with depressingly tattered edges (and possibly smudged with antacid) and makes me feel…well, useless in a sense compared to the young, glowing (mostly) pregnant women with their bright color-coordinated, slim and free-of-debris charts, waiting in the lobby for Dr. G's OB associate. Hot flashes have nothing on my chart - it's that obnoxious. The worst part is that a portion of it has been archived.


Now back to the "Yard of the Month." Initially I'm not too impressed with the photos but must say that Mrs. G looks very good. She probably sees a much younger, female GYN in Southlake for her health needs. It seems that this is the latest trend. Go west and upscale with slightly higher co-pay. Next I'm reading about the Gs’ professional landscaper, magnificent results with red and pink pentas mixed with white periwinkles, yard ablaze in winter with majestic yellow pansies, and preference for annuals instead of perennials (much higher cost with that choice).

As I read on about the Gs' spectacular back yard and large pots of colorful flowers accentuating the stunning view of the golf course, I couldn't help but think that my nearly 30 years of pap smears, pelvic exams, breast exams, lab tests, other assorted medical procedures and very patient listening skills paid for all that magnificent and stunning! The faithful patient that I am, I think I should have been included in the photo with Mrs. G. The caption should read: "Mrs. G and the long-suffering patient that funded this "Yard of the Month" - by the way, she lives in the neighborhood - check out her yard - no pansies there."   Considering Andy's renegade landscaping, I'm sure it's the closest I would ever get to "Yard of the Month."

CitizenB

Convention Observations

Fellow Citizens:

A couple of observations about the conventions….

McCain barely moves. Is it possible that he has had a total body fusion like from the top of his skull to the tips of his toes? If so, how did he father 4 children (or there about)? Just curious. I respect him greatly for surviving a Vietnam prison camp, but his demeanor is so strange. I hope he’s healthy – both mentally and physically.

I read that Cindy McCain’s outfit (including jewelry) cost $350,000. If elected, she’ll give Nancy Reagan a run for her money. I think she’s trying too hard to be glamorous. Can you imagine Rosalynn Carter dressing like that? How many families would $350,000 feed?

With Palin’s popularity, wanna bet that they come out with a new lipstick color: Pit Bull Pink?

Can you believe they played Heart’s “Barracuda” at the RNC? I know Palin’s known as Sarah Barracuda…but it seemed weird. I kept waiting for the real Heart to come on stage with the cameras only showing Ann from the waist up (remember she had a little weight problem) and Nancy wailing away on the guitar.

Did you see Palin’s little girl, I think Piper, holding the baby? She was licking her entire hand and using it to pat down his hair. Adorable. I think she beats out Obama’s youngest daughter in the cuteness category.

What’s up with Giuliani? I thought his speech was terrible. When did he become a bitter, angry, sarcastic old man?

I’ve forgotten much of the DNC by now…

Obama’s kind of stuffy, but what do you expect from the former President of the Harvard Law Review? Of course, he’s serious. His speech was amazing considering he’s kind of a boring speaker. Besides it was historic and very moving. Okay, I cried a little.

For those older than 35, remember Jimmy Carter’s notorious brother Billy? I read a goofy story in “The Onion” about Obama’s fictitious Hillbilly Half-Brother, Cooter Obama, threatening to derail Obama’s campaign. Cooter calls Barack “Ol’ Jelly Legs” and says he won’t vote for his brother because “he wants to take my guns away.” Here’s the link: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obamas_hillbilly_half_brother. Check it out.

I remember watching the RNC when I was a little girl…I think it was 1968. I was all of 7 years old but I remember watching it on an old black and white. I remember that I thought Richard Nixon must be really, really special to be getting all that attention. Gosh!

CitizenB

Suffering Women & The Vote

'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'

Happy Friday to all!

I have to say that in my family “insanity in women is often mistaken for courage.”

No matter what, remember to exercise your valuable and hard-won right as a woman and VOTE. If you don’t know what’s going on, just do some “research” (and/or watch re-runs of the conventions like I did - as evidenced by below). Here are your options:

Republican:

Sen. John "Creepy-Smile, Whistles-Thru-His-Teeth" McCain (and wife, Cindy “Princess Di” McCain)
- And his running mate -
Gov. Sarah “Pit Bull in Lipstick" Palin a/k/a “George W Bush Reincarnated as a Babe” (and her husband, First Dude Mr. Sarah Palin)

Democrat:

Sen. Barack “Hillary-Busting-Elitist” Obama (and wife, Michelle “Can We Move the White House to Chicago?” Obama)
-And his running mate –
Sen. Joe “Big White Shiny Teeth” Biden (and wife, Mrs. Big White Shiny Teeth, Bless Her Heart, Biden.)

Independent:

Ralph “The Activist That Will Still Run 100 Years After His Death” Nader
-And his running mate –
Matt “San Francisco by way of McAllen – how did that happen?” Gonzales

(I know nothing of their spouses or earth mothers…)

Depending on your politics, any one of these teams as replacements of the out-of-touchy Bushy-Cheney duo fiasco will be a breath of fresh air. Also, someone please get Laura Bush a drink to wipe that tight “smile” off her face.

About the article below, I saw Iron Jawed Angels some time back and have to say…I now know why they call it “women’s suffrage” and besides we can always rely on Hillary Swank to defy authority and vomit like a pro.

Have a great weekend.


WHY WOMEN SHOULD VOTE

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.

Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'

(Lucy Burns)
They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

(Dora Lewis)
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov.15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because
they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote. For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.

(Alice Paul)
When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks
until word was smuggled out to the press.
http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/collections/suffrage/nwp/prisoners.pdf

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because- -why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was--with herself. 'One thought
kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said. 'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD. I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think
a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party - remember to vote.

History is being made.

Memorable Culinary Experiences

Fellow Citizens:

As most of you know, I love food of all kinds and always try to sample a local dish when I travel. I'll only order room service (always the club sandwich) when I'm exhausted or stranded. I also like to try new cuisines at home and for the record the one food I'm not in love with is kimchi. For old time's sake, I'm throwing in some childhood memories.

Thai at Red Onion - New York
Ethiopian at Queen of Sheba - Dallas
Sushi at Sushi Zen - New York
Avocado/Mango Shrimp Salad at Nino's - New York
Mushroom Risotto - San Jose
Fletcher's Corny Dog - State Fair of Texas
Green Chili Enchiladas in Taos
Indian Fry Bread at the Taos Pueblos
Dirt at Chimayo
Papaya/Avocado Salad at The Ivy At the Shore - Santa Monica
French/Indonesian at Le Colonel - San Francisco
Wiener Schnitzel and Creamed Spinach at Berghoff’s - Chicago
Prime Rib BBQ at Kreuz Market - Lockhart, TX
Low Country Shrimp and Grits at 82 Queen - Charleston, SC
Dunkin Donuts Coffee - Hartford
Soft Pretzel - Yankee Stadium
Hennesey Martinis at Mickey Mantle’s - Central Park South
H & H Bagels - Manhattan
Fresh Apple Juice at the Alexis Hotel - Seattle
Dim Sum - Seattle’s China Town
Raw Bar Oysters at Blue Fin - Times Square
Beef Braciole (brijole) at Casa Bella in NY’s Little Italy (saw it on the Sopranos and just had to try it)
Cheese Steak in Philadelphia (OMG!)
Clams Oreganato on the Jersey Shore
Ice Cream Waffles on the Jersey Boardwalk - Point Pleasant
Steamed Mussels in Cherry Hill, NJ
Sushi at Morimoto in Philly
Crawfish at Ralph & Cacoo’s - Shreveport (I was encouraged to suck the head)
Shrimp Remoulade, Po’ boys, Beignets, and Nut Mix - NOLA
Oysters at Max’s - West Hartford, CT
Spicy BBQ with Coleslaw - Memphis
Lobster Taco and Crème Brulee at The Mansion on Turtle Creek
Scones, Clotted Cream and Tea - Edinburgh
Bangers, Beans and Toast - London (a tad greasy)
Vegetarian Indian at The Woodlands - London
Hot Chocolate and Pastries - Paris (best cocoa ever)
Jambon Beurre sandwiches – Paris
Croissants and Tea - Paris
Seafood at Table 31 - Philadelphia
Shabu Shabu - Orange County
Tequila with Sangrita - Guanajuato
Tortilla Soup - San Miguel de Allende
Seafood Paella at Columbia’s - St. Armand’s Circle
Mexican at La Fogata - San Antonio
Steak at Doe’s Eat Place - Greenville, MS
Amazing Sushi & Saki at Geisha - Upper East Side NYC (very narrow space)
Drinks at The Oasis - Austin, TX (beautiful view)
Chili & Spaghetti - Cincinnati
Cheese Curds, Chili, Cornbread and Beer at Dotty Dumpling’s - Madison, WI
Walleye Pike & Mashed Potatoes - St Paul, MN
Cuban Pork, Black beans and Rice - Miami
North Carolina Rendered Pork BBQ – outside of Raleigh NC
Biscuits and Country Ham at the Indigo Inn - Charleston
Miso Soup at Chinois - Las Vegas ($12!)
Margaritas and Egg Tacos - Cabo San Lucas
Clam Chowder & Fish - Burlington, VT
Japanese Baked Black Cod at Buddha's Belly - Santa Monica
Seared Tuna at Noe - Los Angeles
Coconut Shrimp - Monterey, CA
Chicken Cordon Bleu – Stevens Point, WI
Halibut Fish & Chips – Anchorage
Meatball Grinder - Hartford (My first ever grinder)
Cinnamon French Toast - Newport Beach
Seafood and Wine at Osetra’s - San Diego
Pizza in the Gaslamp District – San Diego
Spaghetti & Meatballs w/garlic bread at Battista’s Hole in The Wall – Las Vegas
Organic Vegetarian on the Erie Canal - Pittsford, NY
Breakfast at Del Monte Lodge - Rochester (awesome)
Organic Field Greens at The Parkway Grill - Pasadena, CA
Fish Tacos – Orange, CA
Paella at Palomino - Denver
BBQ at Arthur Bryant’s - Kansas City
Steak at Pierpont’s at Union Station – K.C.
Smoked Turkey & Sissy Sauce at Rudy's - Waco (my favorite stopping place between Dallas & Austin and you can get gas there, too!)
Ribs, Beans and Dirty Rice – Marksville, LA
Fish Aladdin at Mazen’s – Lake Charles, LA
Chocolate Pie at Piccadilly - Alexandria, LA
BBQ Sandwich - Monroe, LA (so good on a cold and rainy night)
Gumbo at the Tutwiler – Birmingham, AL
Steak at Char - Jackson, MS
Quail at Navajo Grill - Fredericksburg, TX
Sausages and Schnitzel at Various Biergartens - Fredericksburg, TX (I once fed Schnitzel to a feral kitten until Andy made me stop)
Birthday Dinner at Anthony’s in the Catalinas – Tucson, AZ (Thanks, Joe)
Boston Haddock at Green Onion - Syracuse, NY
Tortilla Soup at Reata - Alpine, TX
Oaxacan-style Tamales - Austin, TX
Apple Streusel at The Faust Hotel - New Braunfels, TX
Seafood Tower Appetizer at Upstream - Charlotte, NC
Gourmet Turkey & Avocado Sandwich at Dean & Deluca's - Charlotte ($9, but worth it!)
Lobster Bisque at Scott's - Jack London Square Oakland
Chicken Burrito at Tito's – San Leandro, CA (best burrito)
Round Rock Donuts - Round Rock, TX (best donuts ever)
Tapioca Pudding and Sticky Rice and Mango at Thai Chili - Las Colinas
Apple Fritters at Applewood's - Oklahoma City
Grouper Sandwich – Long Boat Key, FL
Pomme Frites at Chez Nous – San Francisco
Asparagus Soup at Davis & Main - Richmond, VA
Margaritas at Las Brisas - Laguna Beach, CA (oh, the view)
German Food with All the Kids at Oma's Haus - New Braunfels, TX
Egg Cream at Katz's Deli - NYC
Eggs Benedict at Old Pecan Street Cafe - Austin, TX (Aaron's Birthday)
Pesto at Il Fornello – Toronto
French, Greek, Chinese, Indian & Swiss - Toronto
Italian, Seafood – Vancouver
Spanish/Cuban – Morristown, NJ (lots of garlic)
Cheesecake – Marina Del Rey
Southern Breakfast at B & B – Vicksburg, MS
Lemon Bars & Tea – Vicksburg, MS
Lunch Buffet at the Lakeland Country Club - Lakeland, FL
Blue Corn Chicken Enchiladas with Green Tomatillo Sauce at Chuy's - Austin, TX
Halloween Breakfast at Kerbey Lane Cafe - Austin, TX (our waiter was the spitting image of PeeWee Herman)
Tons of Meat at Fogo De Chao - Dallas (Aaron's Birthday when one of the gaucho waiters kept hitting on Aaron)
Shish-Kabobs – Camping (Jamie & I built the camp fire)
Post Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner – Beaver’s Bend, OK (with Tim & Cassie -Andy cooked the bird upside down in a paper bag)
Dinner & Dancing at Edelweiss – Fort Worth
Lunch at the Salado Inn - Salado, TX (Granny & Aaron)
Dinners at The Elite Cafe - on the circle Waco, TX (our usual stopping place on the way to the river)
What is That? A Large Hunk of Cheese at Old San Francisco Steak House - Austin (Granny & Aaron on Granny's first ever trip to the Capitol)
Root Beer in Mini Frosted Mugs at A & W - Fort Worth
Ice Cream at Ashburn’s – Fort Worth (chocolate chip - my fave)
Banana Splits & Grilled Cheese at Ridglea Drug – Fort Worth
Ice Cream at O'Leary's - Fort Worth
Hot Fudge Sundaes - Kip's Big Boy - Fort Worth
16th Birthday Dinner - Kensington Club & Side of Shrooms at Steak-n-Ale - Fort Worth (I love you Aunt Nan!)
Green Burritos at Taco USA – San Angelo
BBQ sandwiches at Penguin’s Point – San Angelo
Chicken Fried Steak at Zentner’s – San Angelo
Chocolate Glazed Donuts - San Angelo (We were allowed to go off campus during H.S. Creative Writing class)
Steak Finger Basket and Dipped Cone at DQ – Fort Worth (my fave as a little kid)
Fri Lunch - Tacos & Margarita at Tupinambas - Dallas
Lunch Plate at Jim's Pinto Bean Palace of Dallas
Vegetable Plate at Dixie House - Dallas
Cheeseburger & Fries at Club Schmitz - Dallas
Chicken Salad at Snuffers - Dallas (famous for their cheese fries but the salad was better)
Sweet & Sour Chicken at Joy Inn – Dallas (got stuck in a flood once on NW Hwy just trying to get there!)
Chili Cheeseburger at Keller's Drive In - Dallas
New Year's Eve Dinner at Taj Mahal - Dallas
The Palm Beach at Highland Park Pharmacy - Dallas
The Graciela - La Margarita - Irving (I gained several pounds one year from eating this once a week)
World's Largest Burrito - same La Margarita (Aaron actually took a picture of it - it was so huge)
Yellowtail Heaven at Blue Fish - Las Colinas
BBQ Sliders at the Porch - Dallas
Mini Burgers and Fat Tire at Ruby Tuesday's - Martinsburg, WV
New Year's Eve Dinner at Il Sorrento - Dallas (with Eva from Germany)
Hibachi at Jinbeh's - Las Colinas (nephew Alex, a toddler, plastered sticky rice on his face - priceless)
Canned Pears - Canoeing on the Brazos (Food always taste better in the wilderness, even if it is dropped in the dirt)
Garlic Bread & House Salad Dressing at Italian Garden - Irving
El Patio Mexican TV Dinner (my choice for Friday night dinner when the parents went out)
Daily Lunch Special at Via Real - Las Colinas
Ginger Shrimp - Empress of China
Blue Corn Enchiladas with Sweet Corn Cake at Blue Mesa - Dallas
Granny's Tea Cakes - Mosheim, TX
Granny's Sloppin' Chocolate - Fort Worth
Granny's Martha Washington Candies - Fort Worth
Granny's Peanut Butter & Saltines Wrapped In Wax Paper - Fort Worth
Vegetables from PaPa's Garden - Mosheim, TX
Aunt Ernestine's Mississippi Mud Cake - Hot Springs, AK
Mema's Homemade Peach Ice Cream - Fort Worth
Grannin's Venison - Fort Worth
Mom's Corned Beef Hash & Potatoes - San Angelo
Mom's Stew - Fort Worth (with canned VegAll!)
Mom's Potato Pancakes - Fort Worth
Jan's Volcano Potatoes & Swiss Steak - Fort Worth
Jan's Cabbage Rolls - Oklahoma City
Mom's Beanie-Weenie Casserole - San Angelo
Mom's Potato Salad - Irving
Mom's Cornbread Dressing - Irving
Aunt Jo's Fudge - Fort Worth (Annual Christmas Party at the Holiday Inn)
Ma's Spice Cake
Daddy's Venison Summer Sausage - Hamilton, TX
Lisa's Mom's Vermicelli Pasta - Fort Worth
Pizza with My Friends at Crystals - Fort Worth and Shakey's - San Angelo
Pat's Mom's Fresh Green Beans & New Potatoes - Fort Worth
Pat and Daddy's Red Beans & Tacos - Fort Worth
Leon's Mom's Chocolate Pie - Farmersville
Bev's Deviled Eggs - Irving
Granny Warren's Black-Eyed Peas
Meg's 5 Cup Salad - Fort Worth
Lori's Chocolate Coffee Cake - Highland Village
Susan's Christmas Cookies - Dallas
Italian Creme Cake from Kathleen's Art Cafe - Dallas
Sandy's Coca-Cola Cake for My Birthday - Irving
Andy and Aaron's Thomas Jefferson Recipes - Thanksgiving
Andy's Baked Radishes
Opa's Strawberry & Spinach Salad
16th Anniversary Hot Dogs at the Ballpark at Arlington
My Pralines
Aaron's Bread
Andy's Mexican Inspired Christmas Brunch - Irving
Andy's Cerviche and Fish Vera Cruz
Andy's Shrimp Creole (my birthday dinner)
Andy's Smoked Turkey with Candle - My 40th Birthday Turkey - Irving
Sunday Brunch at The Omni - Las Colinas (Granny's first ever brunch & mimosa - hilarious!)
Anniversary Dinner at Arcodoro Pomodoro (Sardinian) - Dallas
Cherry Slushes at Sonic - Uvalde, TX (Totally fun with Laura, Melissa & Ashley - our girl trip to Uvalde from Rio Frio)
Birthday Cake with Trick Candles - Irving, TX (a mini Mount St. Helens)
Mini Plates at Willi's - Healdsburg, CA (great orange-chili calamari and the most awesome spinach salad)
Pink Lemonade & Rum at the Drive-In - San Angelo
Dr. Pepper & Nacho Cheese Doritos - My Entire Diet Senior Year
The World's Largest Salad Bar at Mother Tuckers (in the early 80s when Salad Bars were all the rage)
My Attempt at Italian - Caesar Salad, Stuffed Shells with Marinara & Garlic Bread - all from scratch for Andy's Birthday (with recipes from Dom Deluise's Cookbook "Eat This!")
Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Salad & Green Beans - Andy's Traditional Annual Birthday Dinner
Dallas' Best Brunch - Breadwinners and La Duni

CitizenB

Try Not To Laugh While Doing Reverse Sit-Ups

Fellow Citizens:

So last night I decided to google ways to get out of doing push-ups and sit-ups. I found several alternatives…one being a “reverse” sit-up. I demonstrated for the A’s and they were totally unimpressed that I could sit on the floor and lean back into a supine position.

Me: “That was good, don’t you think?”

The A’s: “That movement required no effort and worked zero muscles” with a lot of head shaking and motions like we’re speechless.

I kept trying to impress them with anything but a sit-up.

Also, my goal by the end of the week is to do a complete, standard sit up while simultaneously drinking a glass of prune juice (see 6. below.) That’ll show ‘em!

If I can pull it off I’ll demonstrate at ya-ya (but with beer).

From wikiHow:

How to Get Around Doing Basic Sit Ups
Most of us search for ways to tone up our abdominal area. However, a lot of us can't or don't want to do basic sit ups, for various reasons. Here are a few alternative exercises that are very effective in tightening the abdominal area.
Steps

1. Use your furniture. Simply sit up straight on an ottoman and hook your toes underneath a chair in your living room. Lie straight back across the ottoman. Then, slowly bring yourself back up to a sitting position. Do as many repetitions as you think you can.
2. Lie on your bed . Lie back, place your arms to your sides, and lift your legs (keeping both legs together) in a pointing straight up position. Then slowly bring them down. When your legs are about 2-3 inches from the bed, hold them there for 1-2 minutes. Then lower the legs and relax. Do as many reps as you can. Note: If you have problems sleeping, it is not recommended to use your bed for activities other than sleep. See How to Fall Asleep for details.
3. Do scissor cuts. Keeping your legs and arms in the same position on the bed, lift your legs and cross one over the other. Just work at your own pace and do what you feel you can.
4. Multitask. While cleaning up the kitchen or doing chores, try to remember to tighten your stomach muscles and then let them relax. This tip works great for your rear-end, as well. Add a little bending and stretching into your daily activities whenever you can.
5. Climb stairs. This can be great for your stomach, as well as other parts of your body. If you'd like, you could buy or have someone make a step-master for you.
6. Eat a high-fiber diet, with healthy and moderate amounts of food. This will help to keep your body in good condition, and make it receptive to workouts. A small amount of apple cider vinegar added to a cup of prune juice may be good to try.
7. Exercise when you can. Use a bike or exercise bike regularly--it will help to tighten your abdominal area and improve your overall health.
8. Stand up while doing the sit up motion. Be sure to keep your back straight and maintain your posture. Alternate your angle of attack to work different muscles, even going so far as to do the sit up backwards.

Tips
· Stay faithful to whatever route you take.
· Any exercise is better than none at all.
· Some of the exercises listed are easier on a person's back than the traditional sit-up.
· Having an exercise bike can help you to exercise even when the weather is not nice outside.
· Be sure to record your exercise activity. It's highly recommended that you use a calendar with large spaces to write in. Keep it hanging in the room where you have your exercise equipment or where you exercise. When recording exercise activities, use abbreviations, such as "EB" for exercise bike.
· Save your calendars. This way, you can look back, from year to year, to see how long that you stuck with it. Hopefully, you will be amazed with yourself and very pleased.
· If sit-ups are too hard for you and you start to feel serious pain after doing situps, do some crunches instead. (a crunch is not as effective as a situp though)

Warnings
· Don't be too hard on yourself. You'll enjoy exercising more if you don't drive yourself into the ground.
· Don't set unrealistic goals for yourself, such as trying to look like a certain celebrity or supermodel.

CitizenB