Gynecology & "Yard of the Month"

Fellow Citizens:

In today's mail, I was fortunate to receive "The Journal," a free, but prestigious community publication "serving the residents and businesses" of my City since 2001.  The first page of Section B "Communities" caught my eye. Our neighborhood always awards a less-than-deserving but obviously well-connected homeowner with the "Yard of the Month".  My husband Andy and I are always amazed at the yards selected. Yes, they are neat and well-maintained but in our opinion, BORING. Secretly we are jealous and hurt "the committee" under-appreciates our wild Texas native plants and our unique style of gardening, which extends to our neighbors' yards   ( without their official consent I must add - but all in the name of neighborhood beautification). That's another topic but word probably got out to "the committee" that Andy accidentally severed tubing to our neighbor's mosquito system while pruning our/their transplanted Wisteria plant brought in from our trip to Wilmington a few years ago.

Anyway, I can't hold back and must comment on this month's "Yard." It belongs to dear old Dr. and Mrs G.   I've been a loyal (but potentially misguided as of the past 5 years) patient of Dr.Gs since, well,  forever. He started his OB-GYN practice in the early 1950's years before my own birth. He's well in to his 80's (I did the math while waiting in the exam room). Dr. G may be elderly but he is caring and very methodical.  I made the mistake of asking about his retirement a few years ago and that was a big NO-NO. Fortunately, I was dressed and not in the stirrups position as his response was very sharp and something a/k/a uterus could have been broken with an instrument.

Dr. G is tireless as a physician and you've got to give him credit for sticking around to attend to me and his one other patient's GYN needs. I've learned to overlook the mismatched socks, slightly worn-on-one-side orthopedic shoe, the traces of crusted Maalox in the corners of his mouth and the 30 minutes it takes for Dr. G to read aloud every note and test result from my last visit before we can get started while I sit freezing in my paper gown (open in the back) wondering if I remembered to shave my legs and studying the floral, pastel wallpaper border – with the design name “universal gynecological exam print”, all while his Eastern-European nurse stands in the corner tightly gripping her pen and taking deep breaths. I honestly don't know if any of my test results have been valid over the past few years due to failing eyesight, possible tremors etc. but I figure with all his years of practice, Dr. G can do all these things in his sleep (and probably does on occasion), so I'm good to go. I just don't know how to move on.


While I’m accepting of Dr. Gs “quirks”, the one real sticking point is my "chart." It is voluminous and full of illegible handwriting, fading laboratory results, complex diagrams etc. with depressingly tattered edges (and possibly smudged with antacid) and makes me feel…well, useless in a sense compared to the young, glowing (mostly) pregnant women with their bright color-coordinated, slim and free-of-debris charts, waiting in the lobby for Dr. G's OB associate. Hot flashes have nothing on my chart - it's that obnoxious. The worst part is that a portion of it has been archived.


Now back to the "Yard of the Month." Initially I'm not too impressed with the photos but must say that Mrs. G looks very good. She probably sees a much younger, female GYN in Southlake for her health needs. It seems that this is the latest trend. Go west and upscale with slightly higher co-pay. Next I'm reading about the Gs’ professional landscaper, magnificent results with red and pink pentas mixed with white periwinkles, yard ablaze in winter with majestic yellow pansies, and preference for annuals instead of perennials (much higher cost with that choice).

As I read on about the Gs' spectacular back yard and large pots of colorful flowers accentuating the stunning view of the golf course, I couldn't help but think that my nearly 30 years of pap smears, pelvic exams, breast exams, lab tests, other assorted medical procedures and very patient listening skills paid for all that magnificent and stunning! The faithful patient that I am, I think I should have been included in the photo with Mrs. G. The caption should read: "Mrs. G and the long-suffering patient that funded this "Yard of the Month" - by the way, she lives in the neighborhood - check out her yard - no pansies there."   Considering Andy's renegade landscaping, I'm sure it's the closest I would ever get to "Yard of the Month."

CitizenB