Text Messaging - The Old Fashioned Way

Dear Citizens:

I'm very lucky to have 15 terrific nieces and nephews. They're growing up quickly or in some cases already adults. We do our best to stay in touch. This sometimes requires technology beyond my abilities.

A couple of days ago I received a text message from my beautiful, big-hearted, and soulful 18-year-old niece Melissa. She lives outside Atlanta and texted an "I Love You" surrounded by a heart. Aw.

Short and sweet with a fun graphic - totally within current texting rules and etiquette. (Of course, I don't know how to replicate it for demonstration purposes.) However, she has a wacky e-mail address with a bunch of underscores and "yo's" and I can never make it work. We've talked about this in the past.

I responded or attempted to respond (see below) and after our exchange, I realized I'm a terrible text messenger or whatever the term is. I don't like code words and trying to hit tiny characters. The real issue is I choose not to abbreviate and cannot under any circumstance be brief. It's not in my nature (and why my Indian Ya Ya name is "Babbling Brook.") Go ahead. You try to text something meaningful in less than 160 characters! Plus the only "graphics" I know are periods and question marks.

Anyway, I've decided to revise my text response to Melissa to meet current text language standards (for persons under 40).

Old Text: "You, too sweetheart. I still get delivery failure when I e-mail you. When you have a chance e-mail me at citizenb and I'll save your address. Sorry I'm a corky aunt."

(Then I noticed my iPhone SMS took it upon itself to change my intended word "dorky" to "corky." )

"Make that corky." (It did it again!)

"D O R K Y" (I finally outsmarted it.)

Melissa: "Lol i love you and yep i will email you when I get home =)"

Revised Text: "U2 sweet<3. I stil gt mail-Dubya wen I emsg u. Wen UV a chnc emsg me @citizenb n Il save yr ADD. Sry I'm a corkus aunt."

"Mk tht corkus"

"D O R K U S" (definition below)

Now you know why I will never be employed as a Native American code talker. This career is obviously not my colored parachute and will be marked off my list along with underwater pipe-fitter and millionaire match-maker.

Anyway, I guess text messaging is here to stay at least until a new mobile technology takes over. At some point we will never need to speak to or touch another living being again. We can marry our handheld devices and be artificially inseminated with turkey basters. There will be no need for deodorant or breath mints.

Until then we must be aware of the reported dangers of text messaging: texting while driving, textwalking, broken thumb syndrome, drunk texting (TUI), text addiction and withdrawal, and underage sexting. What about losing IQ points, forgetting (or never learning) formal English, not to mention turning 12-year-olds into promiscuous bullies and brats?

Blame Japan where it all started - or Canada.

As an iPhone user and loving CitizenAunt of many, yes, I'll continue to text - the old fashioned & d o r k u s way. And now with interoffice instant messaging a daily requirement, I'll have to work on that skill.

Question? Is it okay to agree on a subject with a co-worker by responding "Cool Beans! + :@)"?

Too enthusiastic? Thought so.

CitizenB

Definition of Dorkus: "Someone who is dorky but just doesn't care that he/she is a dork, thus making them very cool in the eyes of other dorkii."

Zen-less Widgets and Other Tech Stuff

Citizens:

I must say this blogging thing has opened many doors - tech wise. Already hyperactive, I've now gone interactive and possibly radioactive from too much face time with the world wide web. I've peeked behind the tech door and now you're looking (virtually) at a person who has a gmail account (iamcitizenb@gmail.com) and an iGoogle home page with a highly functional layout.

My personalized page displays the usual suspects of date & time, calendar, local news, weather (including an impressive Doppler radar), local links, movies, and TV guide. I added a few national news and political sites, business and market watch, and on the opposite end of the spectrum items like EW.com and People. We all know how important it is to keep up with the latest celebrity assaults, top 100 teen idols (there are more than 10?), and hits and misses on the red carpet.

I also added a Fat Loss Tip of the Day (don't eat croutons), Flower of the Day (Freesia, meaning trust & innocence), NY Times crossword, and other random stuff.

I've managed to become slightly more technical all while discouraging Marshall The Cat and his constant attempts to interfere. Once he paw-typed "zzzzzz" in place of my preset "user name" when he happened to step on my laptop at a very critical log-in moment. Fortunately, I didn't have to make the dreaded call to the Help Desk... "Yes, hello...ugh...my cat erased my user name. Okay, let me remove him from the key board."

Now to the topic of widgets; specifically Meditation Chimes. I liked the idea of something interactive (and calming) and decided to add it as a feature to iGoogle and my blog site. I truly enjoy the ding, dong, bong of the chimes. It's relaxing especially with eyes closed. The problem with closed eyes is that I end up missing the mallet and clicking on the Doppler radar on iGoogle or "The Citizen Archives" on the blog.

Remember the satisfaction of banging on a xylophone as a kid? This will not happen with the widget Meditation Chimes. The fundamental flaw with Meditation Chimes is that you can only bong one chime at a time. There is no jazzing it up by hitting multiple chimes and there is absolutely no grand maestro finale with a dramatic sweep of the mallet across the length of chimes.

While I'm happy with my newly found tech savvy, I'm reminded that the wildest widgets in the world can't replace the experience of the real thing...and I'm more likely to find my Zen chomping croutons.

Ding, dong, bong,

CitizenB

If You Can't Beat'em, Join'em

Dear Citizens,

Last night the Republicans rolled out their best version of Obama, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. Young, ethnic and highly educated. That's where the comparison ends. In his address, Obama spoke to us as adults. Jindal seemed to be speaking to a group of third-graders. I admit it was difficult to take him seriously because he reminded me of an Indian-American version of Kenneth - The Page on "30 Rock." If I remember correctly, there was an episode where Kenneth reminisced about his Daddy taking him to the store. (Okay, I made that up.)

I'm sure Jindal has lots of potential as a Republican politician but last night he didn't say much. What could he say? He was a little sideways in stating the stimulus bill was "irresponsible" considering he accepted $3.7B of the $3.8B offered to LA. (I suppose only $100M was irresponsible.) He also didn't mention the billions the evil government paid to rebuild after Katrina.

IMO, we are the government and we gotta do what we gotta do. Yes, the current state of affairs and resulting stimulus plan is painful and unfair in many respects; especially for fiscally responsible American citizens. As one of those citizens, I don't like it... but I'm willing to look at the big picture and what's at stake for all of us.

Okay, so we must act quickly in this crisis and there's a lot of ground to cover. I'm all for getting the heart beating again ("clear!") while simultaneously making things happen like health care reform. Because we, the government, are historically slow to act, I'm hesitant to say let's be careful about acting all at once. We don't want a mind-boggling amount of money to be squandered. There must be change at the core or money won't fix anything. Obama recognizes this.

Lastly, the atmosphere in the house chamber was so incredibly different from the last - well, forever. Where has our leadership been for all these years?

Obama gave a brave and highly ambitious speech. And, yes, we need his kind of leadership.

CitizenB

Haiku Sunday

on the smooth stone step
a yellow bird waits, alone
not to become prey

Emily, Our Newest and Littlest Citizen

Dear Citizens,

Please allow me to introduce the newest addition to the family, Emily Maribel.

Emily was born Tuesday, February 17 at 7:49 a.m. and weighed in at 7 lb. 7 oz. She's a petite 18" long.

She's adorable and totally Zen even when she spits up a little. Her beautiful black hair forms in to a perfect faux-mohawk* and her big blue-brown eyes will melt your heart.

Mom Whitney is doing well. She is such a patient, loving mother. Like most fathers, Dad Jose, smiling brightly, is probably a little stunned by the whole birthing experience. It is quite stunning.

Big brother Gabriel, 2 1/2, is getting with the program and the idea of sharing his mom with "Emme". I learned last night that you should always carry a spare hot wheel race car, preferably black, in your purse. If not, be prepared to allow a 2 year old to play with your I Phone.

Here's to Emily. I can't wait to watch you grow up.

Aunt Citizen B

*Note: Her mother does not approve of the faux-mohawk; at least not yet.