Try Not To Laugh While Doing Reverse Sit-Ups

Fellow Citizens:

So last night I decided to google ways to get out of doing push-ups and sit-ups. I found several alternatives…one being a “reverse” sit-up. I demonstrated for the A’s and they were totally unimpressed that I could sit on the floor and lean back into a supine position.

Me: “That was good, don’t you think?”

The A’s: “That movement required no effort and worked zero muscles” with a lot of head shaking and motions like we’re speechless.

I kept trying to impress them with anything but a sit-up.

Also, my goal by the end of the week is to do a complete, standard sit up while simultaneously drinking a glass of prune juice (see 6. below.) That’ll show ‘em!

If I can pull it off I’ll demonstrate at ya-ya (but with beer).

From wikiHow:

How to Get Around Doing Basic Sit Ups
Most of us search for ways to tone up our abdominal area. However, a lot of us can't or don't want to do basic sit ups, for various reasons. Here are a few alternative exercises that are very effective in tightening the abdominal area.
Steps

1. Use your furniture. Simply sit up straight on an ottoman and hook your toes underneath a chair in your living room. Lie straight back across the ottoman. Then, slowly bring yourself back up to a sitting position. Do as many repetitions as you think you can.
2. Lie on your bed . Lie back, place your arms to your sides, and lift your legs (keeping both legs together) in a pointing straight up position. Then slowly bring them down. When your legs are about 2-3 inches from the bed, hold them there for 1-2 minutes. Then lower the legs and relax. Do as many reps as you can. Note: If you have problems sleeping, it is not recommended to use your bed for activities other than sleep. See How to Fall Asleep for details.
3. Do scissor cuts. Keeping your legs and arms in the same position on the bed, lift your legs and cross one over the other. Just work at your own pace and do what you feel you can.
4. Multitask. While cleaning up the kitchen or doing chores, try to remember to tighten your stomach muscles and then let them relax. This tip works great for your rear-end, as well. Add a little bending and stretching into your daily activities whenever you can.
5. Climb stairs. This can be great for your stomach, as well as other parts of your body. If you'd like, you could buy or have someone make a step-master for you.
6. Eat a high-fiber diet, with healthy and moderate amounts of food. This will help to keep your body in good condition, and make it receptive to workouts. A small amount of apple cider vinegar added to a cup of prune juice may be good to try.
7. Exercise when you can. Use a bike or exercise bike regularly--it will help to tighten your abdominal area and improve your overall health.
8. Stand up while doing the sit up motion. Be sure to keep your back straight and maintain your posture. Alternate your angle of attack to work different muscles, even going so far as to do the sit up backwards.

Tips
· Stay faithful to whatever route you take.
· Any exercise is better than none at all.
· Some of the exercises listed are easier on a person's back than the traditional sit-up.
· Having an exercise bike can help you to exercise even when the weather is not nice outside.
· Be sure to record your exercise activity. It's highly recommended that you use a calendar with large spaces to write in. Keep it hanging in the room where you have your exercise equipment or where you exercise. When recording exercise activities, use abbreviations, such as "EB" for exercise bike.
· Save your calendars. This way, you can look back, from year to year, to see how long that you stuck with it. Hopefully, you will be amazed with yourself and very pleased.
· If sit-ups are too hard for you and you start to feel serious pain after doing situps, do some crunches instead. (a crunch is not as effective as a situp though)

Warnings
· Don't be too hard on yourself. You'll enjoy exercising more if you don't drive yourself into the ground.
· Don't set unrealistic goals for yourself, such as trying to look like a certain celebrity or supermodel.

CitizenB

Disappearing Cake

Fellow Citizens:

Below is a post-script to my boot camp/health challenge e-mail yesterday. Also, last night I googled ways to get out of doing push-ups and sit-ups. I found several alternatives. I was showing Andy my moves and we laughed so hard that my eyes were burning from the tears and mascara.

I have to add something to my report. I knew boot camp was coming Monday morning so I decided to eat something bad for dessert Sun night. I thought…hmm…what should I eat that I’ll be missing for a while?

I was at the grocery store to buy water and toilet paper and decided to head over to the bakery (which I normally avoid like the plague as not to give in to temptation). It came to me…I LOVE CAKE…chocolate cake. I decided to get one of those individual servings and torture the A’s by eating it right in front of them while refusing to share. My last act of defiance!

I get home, unload the groceries and guess what? No cake. Checked the receipt…yep, I paid $2.69 for disappearing cake. Double-checked the trunk of the car and not there. I decided it was a conspiracy. The A’s must have gotten to the supermarket checker and sack boy and/or this is yet another example of really poor Tom Thumb customer service. They failed to sack my magazine one time and another time I got some poor little man’s salami (he was in line in front of me).

I was too humiliated to go back for my cake and took it as a SIGN. No more cake for me.

CitizenB

Ya Ya Health Challenge

Fellow Citizens:

Okay so it’s been brutally hot, I’ve been on airplanes and in hotels for a couple of months, and being the neurotic person I am…I fell off my own “Ya-Ya Health Challenge” wagon. Remember that long-ago (6 months has nearly passed) proposal for the ya-yas to get healthy? What was I thinking?

The good news is that I got back on today. It was kind of by force, but I did get back on. Andy and Aaron staged an intervention (oh, how the tables have turned) last night (we love you but you’re chunky, weak, in a rut, puffy etc.) and I was warned if I wasn’t out of bed for the 6:00 a.m. health assessment that a bull horn would be used. Yes, we own a bull horn.

So I’m up at 6:02 a.m. Aaron’s waiting in the kitchen in drill sergeant stance. (Andy got to sleep until 7:00 I guess because he’s “healthier” and his cholesterol is like one point lower than mine…) I’m allowed to sit and drink one cup of coffee until 6:15. I’m then ordered to weigh-in and actually give my weight - a figure normally kept between me and the doctor’s office. Me: “Most of that is water weight, you know.” Aaron: “Whatever.” He reports he will keep the weight stat confidential. I’m sure he already posted it on his myspace page. I’m then told to measure my waist and biceps. Me: “Biceps? I don’t have one.”

Also, Aaron is obviously a guy because he didn’t even think about a hip or thigh measurement. I didn’t offer. I would have given “ankle” if he asked. Of note, my ankles and the part of the arm where the biceps go are fairly skinny.



Next up: how many push ups and sit ups can I do? At 6:30 a.m.? The answer: 3 “modified” or girl push-ups (Aaron recorded “0” or zero) and 20 “crunches” (Aaron recorded another “0” or a big, fat zero). Girl can’t catch a break with the modifications. He then sighed “This is much worse than I expected.”

I’m then served a thick protein shake (in an orange juice glass! And after I refuse to make it myself!) and told that I can use the internet for a few minutes but only to recapture my user id and password on weightwatchers.com. Done (and I did sneak a peek at addictomatic.com).

There’s more. 30 minutes on the treadmill with more of an incline that I’m comfortable with. (Of course I’ll burn more calories this way but I’m in no condition to climb Mt. Everest – or even the big hill at the end of the street - just yet.) I managed to handle 3.5 at 3.5 mph for 31.30 minutes in a hot garage. Pretty wimpy, but there was sweat involved. It’s a start.

I could have gone longer on the treadmill but I had orders to be out the door by 8:30 today (and no later than 8:00 from now on). I’m not allowed to check my work e-mail at home…this causes too much sitting around and zoning out (true). It’s all about being productive in every aspect of my life!

I’ve used a lot of words like “forced” and “ordered” but you all know that I wouldn’t do any of these things if I didn’t want to. It’s called absolute stubbornness. We all need coaching on occasion. I’ll be on my own soon…Aaron starts back on a regular schedule at UD at 6:00 a.m. on Fri. (Thank goodness!)

Also, remember the “shoe fund” where I get paid $1 for every 30 minutes of exercise? Currently there is enough money to buy a pair of flip flops, but give me three more weeks, and I might be able to afford a nice pair of Wal-mart house shoes to kick around at ya-ya!

For all you ya-yas and over 40s out there, don’t give up. An inner athlete exists in all of us (even if it’s a Serbian discus-thrower.) Love you bunches,

CitizenB

Warning. Hideous "Before" Picture to follow. This is how I looked at 6:00 a.m. and with horribly swollen lymph glands (cleared up by massive doses of antibiotics.)


Fellow Citizens: